Globe-trotting Storyteller Gifts

"The good news is we're sending you overseas for this feature."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'Are we there yet?'

J. R. R. Tolkien

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Airplane food

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

The Family Joules: Part 5

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

My Spam Sketchbook

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

Santa's Helpers

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."