Girls' Night Champion Gifts

"Just as he was starting to see things from my point of view he was declared mentally incompetent."

I could have danced all night!

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Dogs and their thoughts

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Love is when you watch television together.

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Superheroes Having a Drink

Bingo night.

Notoriously losing pieces, the Varns could only have family game night by putting together whatever they could find. 'Checkmate!' 'You sank my Battleship!' 'You didn't say 'UNO'!

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

Slug roulette

Menu. Menu. The good thing about girls' night out is also the bad thing about girls' night out: No men.

'Huh. Where'd all my birthday decorations go???'

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Playing cards.

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

'Once again, I fold.'

"Botox."

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

Down on Bourbon Street...

'Botox...'

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

The Stages of Wine

Competitive tic-tac-toe

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'