Girls' Night Out Gifts

"The only thing that still works well for me is hysteria."

Bingo night.

The morning after her girl's night out Maude was suffering headaches, fatigue and nausea.

"Botox."

'Two beers, please -- and lose the chaser.'

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'Lady, please! It's been 45 minutes! Aren't you ready yet?'

Sado-masochistic beauty rituals.

"I don't know, just call it women's intuition."

Ladies Night

'Would Madams care to taste the wine?'

Are we having cocktails?

"I'm not really even hungy. I bought beef jerky at the gas station and snapped off bites the whole way over."

Absinthe Fairy.

'A hangover is better than a man. A hangover is gone by lunchtime.'

'Botox...'

'My perfume? Actually, it's called 'insect repellent' but at the moment it doesn't seem to be working.'

Nappy Hour - Drunk mums with babies

'For a moment there, I thought he was my kind of man, drinking doubles...'

I could have danced all night!

"I'm on a vodka diet-lost two weeks already!"

'Men - they're all alike.'

Oh what I wouldn't give for a knight out on the town.

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

Aint no man worth the salt of my tears!

The Stages of Wine

"As long as I've got my legs shaved, I might as well do something with them."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"She's had so much done she's not even biodegradable."

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"Oh, yes, it's ladies night..."

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

"Right now I'm enjoying that brief period between having just lost weight and putting it back on."

'Do you know what men and pantyhose have in common? They both run, cling, or don't fit properly.'

Gorgeous Groovers.