Gimmick Fans Gifts

'These days, everyone has a new gimmick.'

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Farm Humor.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Dog in casino.

Tequila Mockingbird

Cat eats date.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'Guess who's teething?'

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Henry, cut that out.'

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Pick a business card.'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

Bus for Giraffes.

Under New Mismanagement

Beer Lunch

"What?!"

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"