Gimmick Critic Gifts

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Candid Camera store.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'My dentist recommended it.'

Unnatural Selection.

Rodin's Irish Judge

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Have you folks eaten here before, or shall I explain the concept?"

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."

"I know you insisted on getting off here, but this area is for employees only. Are you sure you know where you're going?"

"Looks like they're going to have a dog fight."

Perpetual motion car

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

'Well that's just great...you ate the kids and spoiled your dinner!'

"He may be a famous artist, but I find his work too chocolate-boxy."

My Year Searching For a Gimmicky Stunt to Base a Book On.

The referee...

"I fear they're laughing with me, not at me."

"I can't stand microwave managers."

Social comment on the time-honoured tradition of attaching a Just Married sign to the newlyweds car