Gift Renegade Pillows

"Christmas, birthdays...this divine guide will help you deal with idiotic gifts..."

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

Hiding the electronics.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Queen of Upcycling!

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

A man without a chicken on his head!

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Deer and Game Crossing'.

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

Complaints (just kidding).

"Are you telling me you won't even ask the computerized navigational system for directions?"

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

X-Raying Christmas Presents

"Mr McNab gives primal scream therapy for shoplifters."

"Well, I liked it until I read the reviews."

TV tie-in book signpost.

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'