Gift Renegade Gifts

"Christmas, birthdays...this divine guide will help you deal with idiotic gifts..."

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

Hiding the electronics.

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Queen of Upcycling!

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

A man without a chicken on his head!

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'Deer and Game Crossing'.

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

"Are you telling me you won't even ask the computerized navigational system for directions?"

Mary Quant.

Complaints (just kidding).

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"Well, I liked it until I read the reviews."

Confession. Terrible confession. My favorite kind. By day, I work at this caf

X-Raying Christmas Presents

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"Mr McNab gives primal scream therapy for shoplifters."