Gift Horse Musings Pillows

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth."

Lactose Intolerant

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas Tree

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'They're dog roses!'

Say it with flowers

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"I hate it..."

Valentines Balloons

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Football heads...

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

'I'm huggable!'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

How the gift registry should really work

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"