Gift Horse Musings Pillows

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth."

Lactose Intolerant

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Christmas Tree

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

Say it with flowers

'They're dog roses!'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

Love.

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"I hate it..."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Valentines Balloons

Football heads...

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

'I'm huggable!'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

How the gift registry should really work

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

It's the thought that counts!