Gift Conundrum Solver Pillows

'This year, giving holiday gifts may be problematic. I want to regift, but I don't remember who gave me what gift.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Can do...No can do

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Communication Breakdowns

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

"Go ahead, reply all!"

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

Damned if you do...

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

"Mom told me I can't give you any more tools for Father's Day, Birthday or Christmas."

Three-eyed man beats three card monte game.

'I have a great existential dilemma. I consider myself a conservative... but I love liberal women!'

"Sometimes George, you're a complete mystery to me..."

"We can't let the king die, but we also can't do anything that suggests he needs saving..."

Hard of Hearing Institute.

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

Damned if you do Damned if you don't

"I think we're supposed to connect the positive wire here and the negative wire there. But I can't."

"Oh, what the hell, I'll add another zero."

'How'll we handle this?'

Over eating...don't do it.

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

Diet Foods: Don't get your hopes up.

Unhappy businessman as he watches his sales go crashing down on his chart

'I thought that there had been 2 world wars, but this says 11.'

"If you just follow Sadie, she'll show you the way out."

Smart phone Problems

'Don't you guys ever read? That contract is void in case of male pattern baldness!'

"In a world of 'from's' and 'to's', I always seem to be a 'cc'."

Never getting the right present phobia: 'I know there's nothing in it. You have everything.'