Fashion Dilemma Solver Pillows

"Should I buy larger exercise clothes? Or just start exercising?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Can do...No can do

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Tech support...can I help you!

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"I'll give you a moment."

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

"Go ahead, reply all!"

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

Life irritates art

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

'I have a great existential dilemma. I consider myself a conservative... but I love liberal women!'

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

'Phew, now, where can i plug my mobile in?'

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

'Sometimes I just feel like processing some data, but I have no data to process - other times I have the data, but I have nothing to process it with.'

Damned if you do Damned if you don't

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace."

'Fetching the paper was a lot easier than Googling it and printing it.'

'That's what you get for not updating acrobat reader.'

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

Computer Support Line

"Siri, fix everything that's wrong with my life!"

Innovate - man boobs and gut bra.

"Oh, what the hell, I'll add another zero."

'How'll we handle this?'