Giant Conversations Gifts

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Very Difficult Conversations

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"How about a hand."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Dialogue

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

A lesson in wit

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"I know I keep coming back to your obsession with styrofoam peanuts, but there's a lot to unpack there."

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."