Intellectual Conversation Gifts

'Why, Mr. Marvell! I love it when you talk metaphysically..!'

"Jill’s parents rethink their ban on electronic devices at the dinner table..."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"So, what are you reading?"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

Science Snobs

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

Vladimir Nabokov

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

'I inherited therefore I am'

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

Professional Couples

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

Erasmus

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

"Our manifesto must offer a measured but devastating critique of flying."

Petr Yakovlevich Chaadayev

"It's an enduring mystery. How did this extinct species combine such huge brains with such jaw dropping stupidity?"

"Isn't it great that even with our busy schedules we still make the time to just be together and talk about everything else we should bet getting done?"

Brains aren't everything - to some people they're nothing.

Academics At the Beach