Intellectual Conversation Pillows

'Why, Mr. Marvell! I love it when you talk metaphysically..!'

"Jill’s parents rethink their ban on electronic devices at the dinner table..."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"So, what are you reading?"

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

Science Snobs

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

Vladimir Nabokov

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

'I inherited therefore I am'

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

Professional Couples

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

Erasmus

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

Petr Yakovlevich Chaadayev

"Our manifesto must offer a measured but devastating critique of flying."

"It's an enduring mystery. How did this extinct species combine such huge brains with such jaw dropping stupidity?"

Brains aren't everything - to some people they're nothing.