Scientific Conversations Pillows

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Very Difficult Conversations

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How about a hand."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Dialogue

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

Plant Parenthood...

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

A lesson in wit

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

Popular and Unpopular Science

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"