Scientific Conversations Pillows

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"How about a hand."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Dialogue

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Stegosaurus (say the evolutionists). Nonsense (say the creationists).

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

A lesson in wit

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

Popular and Unpopular Science

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"