Ghoulish Gourmand Gifts

"Cemetery Pie"

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"It's fondue night!"

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Dijon Vu

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Instead of string beans, can I get brains?"

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

God Cooks Up Evolution

"I'd like seconds!"

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Capturing a Cook

Endangered Entrees

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."