Ghostly Glamour Enthusiast Pillows

"She's asking did her bum look big in her shroud ?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Haunted museum

"You put it on backward, dear."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"I want you kids to always follow your hopes and screams."

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

The Death of Pierrot

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

A Head-Dress in 1777

Youtube ghost videos...

"Everyone say 'Hot Ghoul Summer!'"

Modern day mirror.

Janet Leigh caricature

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"