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"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Get on with it!

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Fancy a pint?

'He's wearing a toupee.'

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

I am one with stupid.

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

Ghost Playing Cello

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

"Ow. That's the second time you've stepped on my foot."

Spiritualist Society Parking