Ghost Lover Pillows

"To be honest, we're scared you might scare the living daylights out of the ghosts."

"Have you started on the spirits already."

"You've got too much iron in your diet."

"Great. Obviously I can kiss my sales target and my commission good bye."

Rectoplasm

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Do I have to go out again!?"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'There's an imposter among us!'

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

Monster Baseball

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

Ghosts and Aliens in Bath

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."