Getting A Senior Pet Gifts

'They've started giving me 'senior' cat food...'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Pensioner's Romance

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

Dog on a stair-lift.

"I'm an assistance dog."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

"We can't decide whether to buy a dog, or have a child. . ."

'There are 10 great things about living with a senior dog. We're already potty trained, and we don't jump around and chew your stuff.' og proceeds to lie down saying 'The other reasons will come to me after my nap.'

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

"I told you a pet is a lot of responsibility. Now, take your balloon dog out for some air."

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Why don't they come up with a breed that'll live longer?"

'He keeps us young!'

Piss Bull

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

'I'm really beginning to feel my age, Lou. Irene used the can opener today and I didn't even hear it.'

"Relax, Sparky! Doctors say bone loss is normal at our age!"

"Come on, come on, I can't hold it in much longer."

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young." - Theodore Roosevelt

"Meh. Bones are ok. But just once I'd like to sink my toothless gums into a delicious meatloaf."