Germophobe Extraordinaire Gifts

"....But....flu season's over."

'Has the font been swabbed for MRSA'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

The new normal

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Wash your hands

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"The penicillin looks good."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

"Aways the victim."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'