Germ Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"We don't know where that thing has been."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

Comicron

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

How to win friends and Influenza People.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"I think I'm coming down with something."

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

'Biggest damn virus I've ever seen!'

Bacteria fame at last.

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'Too much salt!'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'And so, Ladies and Germs, I conclude that we must promote homeopathy! This may be our best chance to wipe out the human race since the glory days of the Black Plague.'

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

I hadn't seen that jerk in years - then the anti-vaxxers showed up, and now I see him everywhere.

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

Flatware Follies.

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

Institute of Infectious Diseases

"Don't give him air- he's anaerobic!"