Geography Giggler Pillows

"According to this, we're not even in Mrs. Feldman anymore."

0% of the students in this school can find USA on a map.

"The reason why U.S. time is behind English time is because England was discovered first..."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Fig 1. Fig 2. Fig Newton.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

The Big A** Theory

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

"This is an octagon after cutbacks."

'It needs more punctuation.'

Turkey Goes Into Dressing Room and Comes Out Cooked

"This smells really funny. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...