Globe Giggler Pillows

The end of the world.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Welcome to MOMtana

'Whoops!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Black Hole Corks

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"It doesn't work on geese."

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

North America. South America. Greenland. Europe. Africa. Asia. India. Have you notices that North America, South America, Greenland, Africa and India are all pointed on the bottom? Yes - that's continental drip.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

The sudden extinction of prehistoric clowns explained.

The Big A** Theory

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'Which one's Ringo?'

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

"It's boring up here. The moon just has no atmosphere."