Gigantic Giggler Pillows

'Well, thanks for coming in. We'll get back to you.' The search for Big Foot continues.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Clown God

The Main Types of Cheese

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Fresh pepper spray?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

2pm meet your Creator

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon