Gentle_humor_love Gifts

Servant telling a visitor that the mistress isn't in and a girl revealing the truth

Sexual chemistry set

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Reading the sports pages.

"Honk if you love me!"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Aging Problems

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"I have to say candidate two made a very good impression."

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Frog Prince holds sign: 'Will work for kisses'.

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"She said don't forget the straw."

Safe driver.

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

'Elaine, no interruptions for the next ten seconds please.'

"We never talk anymore."

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.