Gentle_humor_love Gifts

Servant telling a visitor that the mistress isn't in and a girl revealing the truth

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Sexual chemistry set

Reading the sports pages.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Honk if you love me!"

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

"I have to say candidate two made a very good impression."

Aging Problems

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

Frog Prince holds sign: 'Will work for kisses'.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

'Elaine, no interruptions for the next ten seconds please.'

"Let's not get too hot for each other. I want us to last."

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"We never talk anymore."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"She said don't forget the straw."

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."