Gentle Exerciser Gifts

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

Running

"OK, ready to go again?"

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Exercise Class

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Exercising

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

Still Life With Nordic Track

"I told him he should have trained more."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Jogging Bottoms

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."