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'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

J. R. R. Tolkien

Characters jumping out of a book.

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Addicted to reading

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

Gulliver's other travels.

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Heaven

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Mr Punch's Illustrations to Shakspeare.

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."