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"Angry peasants hell-bent on your carnal destruction here to see you. Shall I let them in?"

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Trilby - Finis

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

The lonely figure

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Vampire Umbrella

Drunk Vampire

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

The Pride of Frankenstein

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

Trilby - 'I suppose you do all this kind of thing for mere amusement, Mr. Wynne?'

Vampire practical jokes.

Trilby - 'Voila l'espayce de hom ker jer swee!'

"I kind of miss the pendulum."

"You're still in bed?"

Trilby - 'Les glougloux du vin a quat' sous...'

Trilby - 'Out of the mysterious East'.

"What an IDIOT!! He's got the wrong type of 'steak'..! But I'll play along for the moment..."

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.