Genie Story Lover Gifts

"I need to be upfront...with me you only get the one wish, the granting of which depends on your behaviour!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Here be dragons.

Lady of the bath...

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Myths and legends...

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

"I miss the Augean stables."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Storm in a magic lamp.

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"What did Jesus order?"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

Bigfoot tracks...

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

'You pulled a sword out of a stone and they made you King? -- is that constitutional?'

Scotsman in the bath...