Genie Lore Fan Gifts

"I want a full head of hair!"

And your wishes master? To get really p***ed!

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Storm in a magic lamp.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

P.C. in the Stone

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

"Again with the wishes? I do and do for you all I ever hear is 'I wish this. I wish that. Gimme, gimme, gimme'!"

"Oh, Genie. I'm ready to make my final wish now."

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

'I really don't think you've evolved enough for nuclear fusion... How about the wheel, instead?'

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'