Genie Mythology Fan Gifts

"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Warrior Woman

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"OK-WHO THREW THAT..??

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

Storm in a magic lamp.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"I always knew you'd come back."

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Traffic Cone Monsters

'Well, 2012 is the year of the dragon, after all!'

Life and Death

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

Dragon Graph

Scientist seen on loch.

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

The Golf Gremlin.

Sea Monster

"You're kidding right? There's no such thing as a vampire walrus!"

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"You're awfully quiet tonight."

A witch flirting with Santa in the air.

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

' I like our new guide.He seems to know his way around these woods.'

Big Boy Foot