Genie Admirer Pillows

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

"I'd like a purple unicorn."

"Due to unusually high wish volume, you may experience a greater hold time than usual. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause."

"That's it, just a quick charge?"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"It's nice to be asked what I'd like, for a change."

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'What? ALL of them-you let them ALL go home to Mother???'

'Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue dried up.'

'I wish...I wish I was Cinderella...'

'First, please make him stop reading newspapers.'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

Genie Barbecue.

'That's not a magic lamp, it's a chamber pot.'

"All you’s gots to do is rub my lamp, baby."

"I can grant you any wish, but in all cases a completely incompetent person will take credit for saving the day."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Storm in a magic lamp.

Sleeping Beauty

Mensa Does Improv

The wine-shop

Knight ponders on how to remove sword from the stone. Peasant onlooker says: 'You wanna get some WD-40 on that, mate.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

"I love this ghost costume because it covers this costume. I remove it and go back for seconds!"

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'