Genie Appreciator Pillows

Actually, it's just two wishes after taxes.

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

Storm in a magic lamp.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

Einstein's T-Shirt Reads: I'm with Stupid (Arrows point everywhere).

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Leonardo's first drawing

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

Genie Barbecue.

Freia and her golden apples

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

Candle Moment

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

Dogs in heaven with collar halos.

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

No, we don't serve rubbing alcohol.

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."

'Yeah...all the good bottles were taken.'

"Just come out and talk. I promise I won't wish for anything."

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

"Wanting to view it after taxes will cost you another wish."

"Again with the wishes? I do and do for you all I ever hear is 'I wish this. I wish that. Gimme, gimme, gimme'!"