Genetic Counselor Gifts

Sperm donors - "They couldn't tell me anything about my genetic father apart from the fact that he was a frequent donor!"

'Congratulations! It's a saviour sibling.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Jr. cloning kit

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'In general, do the right thing.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

You've determined the DNA genome for felines? What do you call it? "Helix the Cat".

'ADN'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

"Use your head, follow your heart and go with your gut."

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

Gene Manipulation

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'Of course he reminds you of yourself at his age -- he's your clone.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

Now this is Dr. Brainstorm, he's trying to breed a moth that will eat synthetics.

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

Snakecharming.

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."