Generational Researcher Pillows

Generation Hexed

'Please call me Phil. Dad was my dad's name.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"Nice haircut."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"1971... 2015..."

"We added it just for the millenials."

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

Fred Philpot, Born 1944.

"Thank you for your service."

In the Year 2525

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"Generation X, Y or Z? No idea. My brat is Generation SLSLWMAF - Stinkin' Lazy, Still Living with Mom at Forty."

Millennials in the Year 2050...

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

"Someday when you have children of your own, you’ll understand why I dress you like ‘an idiot.’"

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

"He wouldn't have rolled over and over in agony on the bombed-out cinder pitches we had to play on!"

"Dad, how does the outdoors work without batteries?"

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

"Quite frankly I can't wait to see how your generation messes up everything."

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

"How did people waste time before computers?"

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."