Generational Observer Pillows

Generation-I. Generation-V. What're you old folks doing? Renaming your generation. I'm thinking Generation I - 'cause you're living virtual lives. Where'd he go? Got bored after 10 seconds and left to send an instant message to someone across the room.

'Kids today eh What do they look like'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Nice haircut."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"1971... 2015..."

I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

Millennials in the Year 2050...

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

In the Year 2525

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'

"I advised my intern that one must pick his battles. He asked me what video game I had in mind."

"He wouldn't have rolled over and over in agony on the bombed-out cinder pitches we had to play on!"

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."

"So, when you young execs talk about 'phoning it in' there's no actual phone involved?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My mother doesn't want me to get a tattoo, but I disagree. I believe that a tattoo would be very attractive. What do you think? - Jessica, rebellious daughter. *(Actual reader letter). Is this serious? Is this a real letter? They're all real. I am stunned. Stunned? What is wrong with children? Defying their mothers? Do you know what would happen if we had defied our parents like that? What? They'd have sent us to live in the old country with our illiterate cousins who left

'Please call me Phil. Dad was my dad's name.'

Ms. Smith. Her Daughter.

"OK Boomer."

That's what I call value.

"When I was young, we had a lot of hair and no tattoos. Now everything's all reversed."

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

"Why should our kids feel entitled to the lives our parents worked so hard to provide for us?"

The Too-Much Information Age: 'Sure I've googled myself, not that it's any of your business...I mean who hasn't? But that's not what it was called when I was a kid...'

Generation Hexed