Generational Jokester Gifts

"What on earth were you thinking of when you got those tattoos, Grandad?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

Why Cows Leave Home

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

'You want to hear me speaking my first word? I don't say anything without my lawyer, mister!'

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

You're certain you've had plenty of experience serving in a fine dining restaurant?

Mom $50 Pop $35

Son to Father, "So dad, tell me, have you ever larged it!"

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

"Damn it, agree to whatever she demands. No matter what it takes, I want my mommy."

'But, Mom - I am watering the garden just like you told me!'

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

'He was brought by the stork.'

Fishing family, including a bear, sitting on the sofa.

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'