Generational Jokester Gifts

"What on earth were you thinking of when you got those tattoos, Grandad?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

Why Cows Leave Home

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'You want to hear me speaking my first word? I don't say anything without my lawyer, mister!'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

You're certain you've had plenty of experience serving in a fine dining restaurant?

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

"Damn it, agree to whatever she demands. No matter what it takes, I want my mommy."

Son to Father, "So dad, tell me, have you ever larged it!"

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

'But, Mom - I am watering the garden just like you told me!'

Mom $50 Pop $35

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

Fishing family, including a bear, sitting on the sofa.

'And now, darling, tell me what your father said when you told him we were engaged.' 'Oh Harold, don't ask me to repeat his language!'

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

'Don't come crying to me, son. I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you stayed out in the sun all day.'

'He was brought by the stork.'

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"