Generation Jokester Gifts

'Yes, it's true, my grandpa is only a year older than me...'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Human Sex Chromosomes: Female/Male/Male Who Leaves Fly Open.

Twitter that!

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

You inserted donkey DNA into an insect? I made a braying mantis!

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

'What, not even a kiss first?'

'Tax man practical joker sticks sign on colleague's back which reads; Tax me.'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

"You know darn well my maiden name wasn't Rex. Why do you ask?"

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

Robot porn.

'Any idea why your boyfriend is handing out cigars in the pub?'

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

"When I was your age I used my beak."