Gene Splicer Gifts

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

Frank's Laundry and Dry Cloning

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Tension filled the tent.

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Clone Factory

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Another Screw-up at the Genetics lab. FLASH! What idiot thought of putting a firefly gene in an elephant?!

Frankenfish

'The best thing about working here is that nobody is irreplaceable.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Monsanto - "Bad news, the tomato gene has jumped species"

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

Biolab. I put collie DNA into a shark. I got a fish that still bites --- but then it goes for help.

It's my latest recombinant DNA project. Are you a man or a mouse?

"I don't think I could fit another slice in...oh, hold on."

For Greg, it was just another predictable day at Kraft,

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'As you know, we put sardine genes in potatoes, and potato genes in sardines. The results are in. We won't do anything like that again.'

'I don't care if all your friends are doing it. Your piercings are really starting to freak out your mom and me.'

"Y'know, I'm also into gene editing."

'You don't stand a chance. I'm loaded with cheetah genes.'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Nasty slice you have but now we're on this course, we may as well switch to it."

"And the Lord said, 'They shall gradually, so as not to cause unemployment, beat their swords into plowshares.'"

This place says they have the biggest pizza slice in town...

"It calls for oregano, but we’ll be using rum."

Common golf Problems: 'Worst slice I have ever seen!'

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

"We want two pizzas, in small, nonconsecutive slices."

"If you're so enlightened, how come you can't lick that slice?"

'We need to work on that slice of yours.'