Gender Dynamics Fan Pillows

'You had lunch with Phil today?'

Now you can be taller than she is! It's call "bipedalism"!

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Men explained.

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

A child as a pet substitute.

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

Well, obviously we can't live with my parents

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell your Dad about the Easter Bunny till next year."

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

(Phil Hanson and the Philettes)

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'Would it upset you is I said I'm not bothered if your heart isn't in it?'

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'