Gemstones T-Shirts

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Will you be mine?

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"I take it this is a very special occasion."

A 93% pure nugget of lunacy in its natural state.

"I love the idea of getting married to a jeweller."

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

"You need to take it easier henderson. You're working yourself into the ground"

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

"Julie, are you sure you haven't done this before?"

'It's a high pressure job but worth it.'

"I'm hoping to retrain as a diamond."

'Ms. Pembrook, we really don't require you to put your nose to the grindstone ALL the time.'

GALLSTONE SPECIALIST: This too shall pass

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

"It's mine ... all mine! I wonder if there's enough to pay off my student loans."

An oyster shows off it has a diamond instead of a pearl.

Get Off My Lawn

Garbage dump / Used gems.

"She scares the s**t out of me, so it's gotta be really expensive."

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

Jewellers for the Rich and Famous

Man Buys Engagement Ring And Wants It Inscribed.

Startling effect of the 'gold diggins.' - reduced goldsmith selling gold tins very cheaply

"Kkerching."

'...All the really cool stuff is way deeper in the woods.'

Bob has a hard time spotting a diamond in the rough.

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.