Gelatin Gymnast Gifts

Mouse Trampoline

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Children jumping onto mattress in PE.

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

Spam.

'I love it when the ice rushes to my head.'

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

Multitasking

Parkour for the over-40s.

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

"I could stick that landing."

Match Point

Handstand

The Acrobat/Musician

'Help wanted: Various positions available'

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

'Just bag the groceries kid.'

So, what's the secret ingredient to your famous 'Cow Pie' jelly?

"Look, these are the hydraulics of the situation..."

"I, too, get the twisties."

'So now will you take my advice and lose some weight?'

Wordplay: Intoxicated.

"What part of venti frappuccino macchiato frizzi skinny latte antoccino do you not understand?"

Man's contortions hurt his back.

'And now...thanks to...the blue pill...a triple lutz.'

Man changing channels with his toe

"These exercises improve my dexterity and, as you know, a light touch is very important. It isn't easy being a pickpocket."

'It would take all day for the joggler to turn the bowlders into colluvia.'

The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible,but only under certain limited, clearly defined circumstances.

"Let's not call it an affair, let's call it a non-linear sexual episode."