Geeky Gambler Gifts

'The Science Channel's started a new quiz show -- 'The Carbon-Dating Game.''

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Destination casinos...

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"It's lotto fever."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

'Do your homework! - You gotta learn math if you want to be a bookie!'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

Unnatural Selection.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'

Between pub and bookie: 'Very sought-after position.'

"Watch out for the linebacker over the middle and the guy in section 7 whose point spread you ruined."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll