Geeky Gambler T-Shirts

'The Science Channel's started a new quiz show -- 'The Carbon-Dating Game.''

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Destination casinos...

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

"It's lotto fever."

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

Unnatural Selection.

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'Do your homework! - You gotta learn math if you want to be a bookie!'

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

Between pub and bookie: 'Very sought-after position.'

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

Monkey casino study.

"Watch out for the linebacker over the middle and the guy in section 7 whose point spread you ruined."

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'