Amateur Gambler T-Shirts

"I don't buy a lottery ticket but I do play along just for fun."

"I won! I won! I finally won $10 at bingo! I hope success doesn't change me too much."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Destination casinos...

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

Tonto Casino.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

Gambling on office building construction

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."