Comedic Gambler Gifts

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'It's been so long since he's been on dry land.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

Golf Ball in Nest.

'Is that a roll of pound coins?'

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

'You forgot one of the essential facts of putting - the ball always breaks toward the water.'

'Shall we forget the ball and start to look for the golf course?'

'I shouldn't be much longer, hon, I'm putting on the 18th green right now.'

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

Bet and Breakfast.

STRIP Old Caddy (colour)

"That's a lovely tee-shot." - "Well, thank you, it matches my underpants."

'I know it's a long shot but wouldn't it be worth hanging on until after the wednesday lottery draw?'

Kenny Rogers Laundromats: We know when to fold 'em."

"I'd like 13,983,816 lottery tickets please..."

'The Science Channel's started a new quiz show -- 'The Carbon-Dating Game.''

Billy strip: dad doesn't get to shuffle the horses.

'I like being last in line. That way, I'm the last fool to part with his money.'

'According to this rubbish I'm going on a long journey.'

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

Fruit machine...

'I've got the high score on this game, and the NSA has confirmed it.'

'THis is where the boys used to gamble. By the looks of things, they lost a lot more than just their shirts.'

"They're playing with food again."