Gearhead Humorist Gifts

'Italian design, German engineering...' - 'All you'd expect in a British car.'

"That's Floyd Wheeler in the back of your car, Mr. Ferguson. He's going as far as the depot, if you would be so kind."

"There are three courses of action we can take now - I can call you Ace, Chief, or Big Guy."

"Cash for clunkers 2.0"

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

Drool Marks

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"What old school? This is my life."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'God's speed.'

Idle parts

Smile

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

Car Dentistry.

Biker At Museum

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'