Gearhead Giggler Gifts

"What do you mean I left garage too quickly?" - Mechanic still under car

"Your Thunderbird does cough and splutter, but it doesn't have bird flu."

Mechanic to man: 'Let's just say that it needs a battery with citric acid.'

'M.O.T. certificate?!...a death certificate's the best I can do.'

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

Thanks for putting in a new engine, pity you forgot to take the old one out.

Race Starter stuck to whell of racing car

"Baldo, there's a lowrider at the other end of the mall!"

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

"Whaddya mean 'the clutch has done'! - Who the hell took it?"

Drool Marks

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"What old school? This is my life."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'God's speed.'

Smile

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Idle parts

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

Car Dentistry.

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."