Gated Getaway Lover Gifts

'Here we have a beach condo in a gated community on a barrier island - a great place to get away from the natives!'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

Energy saving mode

Segregated Beach

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

No early morning tea past this landing

'Take a postcard, Irene.'

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

"Let's go and get ice-creams...Dad's beach body ready."

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

'Well at least they afforded me the courtesy of not using email,'

"George, I think factor 50 would probably be enough."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

The Queen on holiday

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

'I realize it's been ten years... but I promised I wouldn't come back from vacation until I was fully relaxed.'

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

"Honey, you're not working on your computer? You're taking this vacation thing a little too far, aren't you?"

Tunnel of Love, Niagara Falls, NY.

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

"Can you put some sunscreen on my ankles."

'You mean you don't have a bowling alley on board? And you call yourself a cruise ship?'