Gastro-humor Enthusiast Gifts

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Lockdown casserole

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Cooking with Pierre

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Murderous Chef

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"What will change my life?"

'So this is a kitchen!'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"You're losing your everything."

"Say hello to my little friend!"

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'